Bathroom Crimes

There is a lot of fun to be had in a bathroom but can it go to far?

Everyone’s talking about ‘nothing showers’. By everyone, I mean a couple of people online. But what is a nothing shower? It is the opposite of an everything shower.

An everything shower is when you spend hours cleaning every part of your body. It’s extensive and thorough, involving multiple products.

The ‘nothing shower’ is simply standing under the water doing - nothing. It’s not about cleaning. It’s about hiding. The ‘nothing shower’ is usually the second or third shower of the day for a person with not much going on in their lives. It is used to warm up, procrastinate or as a place to cry.

One advocate of the Nothing Showers believes they are “excellent for muffling sobs, and hiding from responsibilities”.

While I find the thought of climbing into a shower to cry pretty depressing, others disagree. A texter to my radio show claimed crying under a flow of water was one of the great joys in her life.

Whether you are for them or against them, one thing is for sure: the ‘nothing shower’ is far from the worst crime people commit in the bathroom. I have seen some terrible stuff in my time. Here are five of them.